The pain in the heart which never gets cured when you cheated the hope of your beloved one. When I joined the college in the mid of Summer, which is the time I felt the little butterflies flying inside my stomach. After a week passed away, I started to look a boy who is smart, techie and easily clubbable. When my professors are explaining the force of gravity in class, I inspected the gravity force of his eyes. The classes ran away with wings in its legs, I was so close with him.
When we are exchanging messages with each other, I proposed to him and he accepted my proposal. From there on, I was in the different world which made me to feel every happening as precious moments. I spent every weekend with him and he was my world at that time. After few months, they had lot of fights with each other, no matter whose mistake turned into fight, I will run behind him to convince.
He is too stubborn and never forget my mistakes within weeks. It will be like chase between Tom and Jerry in cartoon network. In that story, Tom will be chasing Jerry for food, but I was chasing him for my life, the life I imagined in every night of my college days. I spent every night with imagination of the future and it was day dreaming. I have never thought that I will leave him. If you give two options to choose anyone whether to die or leave him, I will definitely choose the death.Because it is difficult to live with pain rather than die with pain. But it is life it had its own twist and turn. We can never and ever assure that what will happen in future. After five years of love, I decided to leave him. The worst moment in my life is the moment when I said no to him. It hurted a lot, and I was dying every night in the bed because of the dreams I imagined.
When I conveyed my decision to him, every bit of mine are breaking into millions of pieces. In the past five years, I never allowed him to request me for anything . But this time, he requested me to give back his life which is me.I left him in the mid of a sweet dream what he had in his mind in every night like me. I stabbed his heart with my words and he might have opted to do that with me in knife. He almost literally did that by accepting my break up and stabbed my heart with same words like me. The last word spoken to me by him was ” I love you”. That voice is still making my life the worst one on the earth.
Unfortunately, I had no options in my hand . “Oh God please take back my life , I can’t live with this pain”… I requested to God every night but he never listened my prayer. He offered me patience to live with that pain, that was the only option given to me. I have never done anything for my selfish, but the situations turned me to do so.
The pain which makes my pillow wet the whole night and I realized that feel of everyone who broke their beloved one’s heart. No matter, for what reasons they left them but for sure the reason will not be selfish. They might have tried every options what they had not to leave them. But the destiny cannot be changed by mankind, it has written already like which crushed my love.
I was the one who made him to love me and also the same who left him. The love in my heart is still thinking about him with pain. The first love will run in your heart and soul until you die. It never allows you to forget the feelings that it gifted you. It will make you to cry sometimes, and smile at other times but sure there will be its presence in every bit of you.